The Reason I Keep Avoiding My Childhood Friend

I gave up reading Kir’s thoughts in the first place.
Is it because he was too young? Or is it because the child has just grown up? Kir’s thoughts, who was 8 years old, flickered and it was hard to follow.

So, in the end he was just a weird kid, and I was just tired.
As a result, I wasn’t really curious about Kir’s thoughts anymore.

I just fell into a very bizarre situation where any strange and absurd thing ends up as ‘because I raised him’.

And now even though I’ve gotten used to that strange situation, I’m starting to feel weird. Goosebumps.
From that moment on, I also took Kir’s strangeness for granted.

Could it be that it is difficult for me to live a normal life? Well, I have been slapping people’s cheeks since I was 7 years old, is it normal? So I lamented my condition inside and concentrated on eating.

In the meantime, the taste of today’s chocolate choux was amazing.
I shoved the entire choux the size of my fist into my mouth and it made both my cheeks full.
Originally, I’m not that much of a foodie, but today’s food was even more delicious.

My cheeks were protruding so much that I was biting my lips tightly and chewing hard, when something touched my cheek.
I unconsciously wanted to do something, and as I followed, I saw Kir holding out his hand.
It was Kir’s finger that touched my cheek.

Why? What?

I couldn’t open my mouth because of the choux in my mouth, so I looked at him and asked.
Kir looked dazed, and he stood still like possessed.
Then, when our eyes met, his focus slowly returned.
It was like he was waking up from a dream.
Kir’s eyes widened, blinking slowly, and his fingers seemed trembling.

“Gasp!”

Kir quickly removed his hand.
His face went red.
Looking at the hasty and indecisive reaction, I just realized that he had done it unconsciously.
Why was he that surprised? As I was rather puzzled by Kir’s reaction, Kir stumbled.

“I, I didn’t do that on purpose.
I didn’t want to touch you.”

Kir made a really pathetic excuse.

And now I can see why Kir was so engrossed in watching me fill my cheeks and eat my food.
Kir has always envied my plump cheeks.

It’s not really surprising.
A child’s cheeks were always a coveted thing.
I’m a little kid too, but sometimes my cheeks are adorable and I don’t know what to do with them.
Fluffy, plump cheeks.
Isn’t it as enchanting as a cat’s pink jelly paws? The children’s skin was especially soft, so it felt good.
So, it was not strange that Kir wanted to touch it.

But what is surprising is that he wanted it so much yet why did he reach out his hand now, and why was he so surprised when he touched it.

Come to think of it, it is not that I had no contact with Kir at all.
On the contrary, when we first met, Kir touched me casually.

There was a time when he would be stroking my head, ruthlessly shaking me to annoy him, and pressing my cheek so tightly it hurt.
So I didn’t know as we didn’t have physical contact for quite some time.

Now that I think about it, after the official tea time, I hadn’t touched Kir strangely.
I really didn’t even touch one of his fingers.
It has now been over a year since that boundary was broken.
But why is it that he was more surprised when he touched someone else’s cheek? Rather, shouldn’t I be more surprised by the touch?

I was stunned not knowing what was going on, and then my eyes caught on something.
Kir’s finger that touched my cheek was still twitching.
Its movement looked like it was searching for something left on the tip of his finger.

At that moment, a thumping sound echoed through my body.
I also noticed a side I didn’t want to know.
I read about Kir’s weakness.
The sweet cream felt bitter.

Now I could tell that his bursting lack of affection had been exposed to me.
The slight movement that remained on the tip of that finger was proof that Kir wasn’t just touching my cheek, but was chasing the warmth of others.
He was missing the trivial act of touching people.

Something hot surged in my heart, knowing Kir, who had already dried up because of melancholy.

“No, I just… I just…..”

I didn’t say anything, but as the silence got longer, Kir was even more helpless.
This made me want to cry.
Even more heartbreaking was the fact that his fingers, swaying in the air, were constantly twitching.

A movement that left a lingering impression, chasing the remaining warmth like an afterimage.
It was a pity because it looked like he was trying not to forget that warmth.

“So, I didn’t do that on purpose…”

Kir tried to make excuses somehow.
I mean, kid, what’s the big deal! I grabbed Kir’s hand and placed it on my cheek.
Kir widened his eyes in surprise.
The hand that touched my cheek was stiff.
I swallowed all the cream left in my mouth and said.

“Are you so surprised that touching the cheek is such a big deal?”

As if standing in front of a beast, Kir’s lips, who were holding his breath, opened slightly.
The breaths and trembling eyes went back and forth.
For some reason, a strange expression of joy gradually spread on Kir’s face.

“Can I touch it?”

The voice was tense.
Kir wiggled his lips as if the inside of his mouth was dry.
It’s really hard for a kid to live.
It was funny to see him being so obsessed with things like that.