Night of the Abandoned Duchess

Chapter 46

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Rosalind glanced at Leo, who was sleeping, and brushed his hair.
He was sleeping soundly because he was tired today.

He yawned a few times, unlike his usual, where his eyes lit up with glee until she had finished telling two stories, and then fell asleep.
It looked like he had a good time with Kyle.

Kyle was a surprisingly affectionate father, and he would often accept his unreasonable demands.
He even gave Leo a ride on his shoulder until he got tired of it, and even if Leo played with him all day, he didn’t show any reluctance.

Perhaps, that was why Leo always went to Kyle’s castle, and he would come back falling asleep quickly.

She gazed down at the quietly closed eyelids and smiled almost invisibly.
It was the first time since that day that she had made something similar to a smile.
Everything was just confusing and complicated.

“Madam, the Duke has come.”

“…What?”

At that, she froze in surprise at the voice over the door.

With an anxious look, she turned to look at Leo and the door, as she curled up the hem of her dress, helplessly.

“…Please, tell him that it will be difficult to see him.”

Are you running away?

The question came up from somewhere inside her, but she pretended not to hear it.

“Understand.”

Despite the maid’s answer, there was no sign of the strength waning from her clenched hand.
However, after a while, the maid’s knocking sound was heard again.

“The, Duke asks me to ask you again…”

“Next time, say I’ll see him next time.”

“He will wait for you.”

Rosalind turned her head and looked out the window.
It seemed that the landscape that filled the window was darkened.
The day was cloudy and gloomy and raindrops were falling.

“The weather was like this?”

Her eyes frowned slightly.

“He’ll be gone in no time.”

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It was expected, considering the wind.

She just wants him to go.

The rain was falling harder outside the window, maybe because of her feelings.
She wanted to pretend she didn’t know whether the rain had soaked him or not.
She wanted to turn away, she wanted to run away.

…She didn’t know what kind of face she should look at him.

Even though she couldn’t hear an answer, Rosalind muttered a small whisper to herself.

“What should I do…?”

It felt like her heart was pounding at the sound of rain hitting the window.

As her bewildered gaze could not leave the window, the rain fell endlessly.
The sound of rain outside the window was bustling and noisy, making the room feel rather quiet.
The air sank as if the flow of time had stopped, and she was the only one who was swaying.

“…Young Madam, can I come in?”

Suddenly, the maid’s voice came from outside the door again.
When Rosalind didn’t answer, the maid gave a few more knocks before she entered the room.

“Young Madam, it was raining quite a bit, so I’m preparing all the places in the mansion…”

“Is he still there?”

Rosalind posed another question to the maid.
The maid’s eyes widened for a moment at the slightly urgent voice but then softened a step later.

“The Duke…”

“No, no.”

She would have to check it out herself.

As though waiting for this moment, she sprang up from her seat and headed towards the door.
After she grabbed the umbrella and sent away the people following her, Rosalind hurriedly opened the door.
In the deep darkness that fell, she was able to find him without difficulty.

He was standing alone in the rain on the other side of the garden…

Rosalind took her steps slowly towards Kyle.

When the distance between the two of them narrowed, neither far nor close, she suddenly stopped.

“…It’s raining a lot.”

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“Are you worried?”

While she held up the umbrella, her eyes were wet even though it wasn’t raining.

“I can’t see your face well because of the umbrella.
Come a little closer.”

I came because I missed you.

Rosalind didn’t answer, she just stood there like a tree rooted in its place.
She moved her steps, little by little, without making eye contact with him.
Step by step, each time she got closer to him, she struggled to swallow the cries that kept filling up.

Her heart ached.

Conceivably, it was because the man who always looked close to perfection was shabby in the rain, or maybe it was because of the bad relationship she had with him.
Or, maybe it was because she felt sorry for him when he was young and lost everything…

“…Why are you being beaten like this foolishly?”

Rosalind placed an umbrella over his head and handed him the handle.
Nonetheless, Kyle was not willing to accept it, and she held out her umbrella to him again as if to ask him to take it.

“Take it.
Come on.”

Eventually, he reached out at her urging.
Although the moment she was about to hand over the umbrella, he grabbed her wrist instead of the umbrella.

“Now what…”

Before she could finish her words, he gave strength and pulled her into his arms.

She felt her body leaning forward, and in an instant, her tiny body slipped into the man’s arms.
At the same time, the umbrella in her hand fell to the floor, and all she could feel was the temperature of the large man.

Cold rain was dripping down her head, though she felt a heat rise.

“…Have you been drinking?”

Rosalind sensed the faint smell of alcohol from him and frowned.
He, whom she had known for a year, was not good at drinking.
He was a person who drank alcohol occasionally, only lightly enough not to get drunk.

“You can hate me, or you can dislike me.
I don’t care what you ask of me, whether it be property or position.”

It was the first time she had seen him so messed up.
Something seemed rushed and impatient.

Because it was unfamiliar to her, it hurt as if a corner of her heart was constantly aching.
Her heart was beating fast because of the sudden events.
She was afraid that the sound would even be heard by him.

Kyle hugged her more tightly, like a child afraid to lose its parents.

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“I can do anything I can.”

So…

“Please, don’t go… Don’t go.”

It felt like her heart was pounding.

“I will live by your side for the rest of my life, making atonement.
I’m a bad person for you, so… I will be selfish until the end.
I will not let you go at any cost.”

He repeated the words several times as if it was a promise.

“I think those four years were terribly long.
So, so…”

While he couldn’t continue his words, Kyle gave more strength to hold her in his hand.
He said nothing for a long time as if he was frozen, too.
The rain didn’t seem to stop, it just fell harder and harder.

“…Please, don’t go.”

His voice echoed in the rain.

* * *

“…How much had he been drinking?”

Rosalind, who glanced at Kyle who was sleeping, let out a small sigh.

He would have caught a cold, so she brought him into the house first.
As soon as he leaned back on the sofa, he fell asleep.
Having a servant carry Kyle to the bed, she gently placed a blanket over his chest.

‘I will not let you go at all cost.’

“Why… Why are you?”

As she listened to him, one question came to mind.

…Why, why are you like this because of me?

The more she thought of Kyle, the more complicated her mind became.
Her father had done evil, and he was the victim of that evil.
And, he was her ex-husband, Leo’s father, and her one and only object of unrequited love…

“I couldn’t understand you.”

After her wedding, she stayed with him in the house, though Rosalind couldn’t understand him.
She also felt a sense of shame because she wanted to hate him.
It didn’t take much of a reason to hate the man.
Still, from the beginning, he used to act like he hated her very much.

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“…But, even now, I still don’t understand.”

Why was he so desperately clinging to her, who had such a terrible father…? It hurt her heart even though she didn’t understand it.

She gazed down at his carefree face and bit the inside of her lip.

‘If you say it’s okay once, it’s okay, and if you say it’s okay twice, it’s really okay.
If you say it’s okay three times… That’s not okay at all.’

One night when the moonlight was beautiful, she remembered what he said.
The voice that had sunk low came back to life.
Rosalind thought that she might have had a hard life to the extent that it was impossible to estimate it with only a short guess.

It was weird.

He was such a hated man, yet she didn’t feel good to think that he had a difficult life…

“You were a bad person to me… A bad person doesn’t get hurt easily…”

She muttered a small whisper to herself.

It was quiet but bitter.

The days when Kyle was mean to her were very clear.
He had always been ice-cold in her eyes and hard as stone, so she never thought that he could be hurt.

“Though why do you keep looking hurt in my eyes…”

‘…And, because of me, too.’

At first, she loved Kyle… Then, she hated him, and then she wanted to pretend not to know… Though now, she didn’t know what to do.
It would be a lie if she said that she didn’t hate him even now.

However, Rosalind didn’t like the fact that he was having a hard time — that he might have had a hard life, and that it hurt her heart.
She didn’t want him to be hurt apart from what happened with her father.

It hurt so much because somehow it didn’t suit him.

“…Don’t get hurt.”

Water was dripping from his hair, which was still not dry.
When she brushed his wet hair over, the protruding eyebrow bones and sharp facial lines were more clearly revealed.
She lowered her hand a little further and started stroking his face.

Perhaps, because of the rain, I felt a little cold and emaciated.

“If you were going to be a bad person, you shouldn’t be hurt so that I wouldn’t even have any sympathy… You have to live a miserable life.”

Even though what she said was blunt, her voice was dripping wet like rain.