If I Disobey the Duke

Lily’s eyes widened in shock again, and she spoke hastily, “I don’t hate it.
Really, I don’t.”

“Didn’t you tell Ivan that you didn’t want to have sex with me?”

“That…!” Lily took a deep breath.
It was he who took her to her bedroom that day, too.

No, more than that.
He must have heard many other parts.

“It’s not like that.
The problem is something entirely different, so…”

His eyes instantly sharpened.
“If anything, is there something wrong with your body? No way…”

“It’s not like that!” Lily cried out.
She was afraid that she might be mistaken that she had a problem with her physical body.

Vlad’s eyes softened slightly, but his expression of doubt was evident.
He looked over  Lily’s body.

Embarrassed by his scandalous glances, Lily brought her arms forward slightly to her chest.

“It’s not like that.
I feel…” Once she swallowed her dry saliva, she made up her mind.
“I feel so good.
Too good.
So that’s the problem…” she confessed.

It was a concern she hadn’t been able to properly tell the priest yet.
Eventually the first person she confided in was Vlad.

Talking about her problems to her husband was something she was not used to.

There was a strange silence, and Lily glanced at him.

Vlad was furrowing his eyebrows.
“That… is the problem…?”

What?

He was in very serious anguish.
Judging from Lily’s reaction, it was absolutely not a joke.

She was sensitive.
Then there was only one conclusion he could draw.

“Is the stimulus too much? If it was such a problem, I’ll try to adjust it in the future.
It has been very difficult for you.”

As he spit, he felt pathetic.

Have I been unable to control any of that?

It was quite heartbreaking that his wife had been dissatisfied with his bedroom skills in any way.

Lily was forced to add her explanation in the end, as he kept pushing the blame to himself, “Women can’t feel good when they’re having sex.
But I am so… that…”

Lily’s toes curled.
It was not easy for her to confess how lewd she was.

“…”

Vlad paused.
It took quite a while to digest her words.
A throbbing headache hit the back of his head the moment he comprehended her meaning.

“Gosh.” He covered his face with a large hand, but that still couldn’t hide his absurd expression.

He understood.
He had heard something ridiculous.

“…That’s what you were taught in your classes, Lily?”

His jaw tightened.
In many ways, it was a social evil.

Ironically, there were no nobles who lived according to textbook principles.
If that was the case, there would have been no affairs nor gossip in the social world.

Lily, who could neither be a complete commoner nor a nobleman, lived alone in that suffocating world.

It must have been such a hard time when there was no one who could properly tell you what nonsense that was.

His heart throbbed as he realized the sense of inadequacy she had been through.

Vlad sighed deeply and wiped his face.

What the hell.
Where should I start explaining?

Lily was stunned and she looked into his eyes.

Vlad slowly spit out the chosen words, “I see.”

“…Yes?”

This time he put the words together again in his head.
There must be a more efficient way to explain it.

A scene suddenly flashed past.

“You have seen it too.
You watched closely what the maid in the hallway was like.”

“That…!”

Lily’s shoulders stiffened.
She blushed and fiddled with her hands.

Their eyes met for a moment until she quickly avoided his gaze again.
She was so embarrassed that it was unbearable to see him face to face.

“I didn’t.”

Vlad tilted his head slightly as if waiting for an additional explanation.

Lily had now become desperate.
She had said too much that it wouldn’t change anything if she added one or two more words, “I never felt that until I did it with you.
I never felt that way at all…”

“…”

“It’s the first time.
Because of you.”

Vlad was finally freed from all doubts.

He knew she wasn’t used to sexual pleasure.
The fact that she always stopped herself to the point where she couldn’t willingly surrender her body.

After he heard the conversation with Ivan, he thought she felt rejected by him.

It was not surprising at all.
She would have kept her false beliefs, if it wasn’t for her experience.

Her lips slowly opened.
After a moment’s hesitation, she came to her senses.

“Therefore, not even once until you married me…”

Lily lowered her head.
That was enough of an answer.

Vlad stood and carried Lily up with him, who shrieked at the unexpected movement.

“Let’s go back to the castle.”

His voice was determined.